2008

Had a very long walk home after my dinner. Was trying to sort out my thoughts and problems…

Last week wasn’t a smooth week for me at all… I was very dissapointed in my way of dealing with problems last week… maybe because of too much work and lack of sleep.

There’s just so much work too do and so little time. I had to wake up early and sleep late just to get some of my work done… in the end, my body and mind just couldn’t take it any more.

Sometimes I really want to get things done… but all my work can never be completed… There’s never ending problems to all the work that I’m doing now…

There’s so much I wan to write here tonight… but i can’t. Some things are too personal to write here. I’m so tired out from work and my life and I just can’t do anything…

I need a break. A long break. Away from work, away from people.

I wanna live in a world where there’s only me and SHE…

I celebrated my 21st Birthday with friends on the 23 Mar and yesterday (31 Mar) with my relatives.

Gan Yan for 23 Mar:

The day when I turned 21. I wished this day will never come, but still, I got to face it. Growing up is part of the life cycle… think I can’t avoid it.

23 Mar was quite a busy and tiring day for me but luckily I still managed to get help from my friends. I woke up early in the morning at about 7+. Went to eat Mac. People won’t understand how Mc is so impt to me. But never mind…

Went to super market with my mama and her friend to catch live prawns and some other BBQ stuff. Then pack things and set off to Bukit Batok civil service club. Almost all my good friends turned up on that day.. but too bad things doesn’t went smoothly on that day. It rained quite heavily and my friends got wet in the rain to BBQ. I really want to say a big ‘Thank you’ to all my friends out there who came for my birthday. I know the place its hard to find and the weather wasn’t really fine. But thank you for making it a memorable day for me.

Gan Yan for 31 Mar:

Not as tiring as on 23 Mar, cause my mama did most of the things. Somemore it was catering. So don’t have to do much work. The catering was for 50 people, all my relatives.

Highlight of the day was on the cake of course. A 3.5 kg cake with my Idol on it. That was and will be my biggest cake in my life. My friend crop it for me. Not taken from the internet. Everyone crowded around the cake to take pictures as if SHE was really there… haha..

I really enjoyed this day and I also wanna say a ‘BIG BIG Thank You!’ to my all my relatives who came.

Today is the 2nd Day of 2007… so far so good… but after watching tv in the afternoon, I don’t feel good…

One stupid so called feng shui master predicted SHE will split this year… I wish this person who made this prediction will fall into the drain when he go home tonight….

anyway I won’t believe in such things… the fate of individual lies in their own hands… not the feng shui people…

hm enough of the people who wants to make use of SHE to make money…

This month is going to be a good start for me… with SHE coming to Singapore in less than 25 days… and a good break from my work I’m sure I will be fully recharge to face challeages ahead…

Last day of 2006…My conclusion for this year:

Jan to March- struggling to get out of my attachment life…

April to July- Had to learn to survive in this fake and unmerciful society, and so called the " real world"…

July to August- struggled to survive through the toughest time of the year…

September to December- where the real challenge begins….with cgw and sgf…its a test of our ability to stay in this line. and lucky we survived through…but there’s more to come.

My gan yan…last year during the last day of 2005, I felt so lost… I don’t know what I want… what to expect in the coming year… felt so hopeless…

but within one year… i realised i’ve grown up… I’ve been through so many things… there’s so much problems that I got to faced myself… I tried my best to overcome all these problems…sometimes even resort to hidding and running away and chose not to face the fact… but I know it won’t help to solve the problems…

Growin up is tough… but its through all the obstacles that let us face our true self…let us know our strength and weaknesses.. let us know what are the things that we hate and what are those that we like…

This is quite a fruitful year for me…even though I lost alot, but at the same time I gain alot from the lost….there’s a saying.. no pain no gain…

Today, again is the last day of the year.. even though i still do no not have any definate goals which I wan to achive…at least I don’t feel as lost as last year…

sunday, 31 dec 06, 9.51pm .

Yesterday was at a gathering with colleagues. Today’s gathering was with my ex- classmates (current friends).

I think I’m not mentally prepared for working life yet. Or maybe I still can’t get use to the working life or adult life.

All I can say is being an adult sucks. I think earth is not a place for me to live. I hate to study and I hate working life. So what can I do? Stay at home and rot?

All I want is to be happy. Is it so hard? Maybe its hard maybe its easy. depends how u look at it.

anyway, my conclusion is, life sucks

Had our 4E3 gathering on Thursday. Alvin gave a very inspiration talk.

Maybe its time that I should really sit down and plan for my future.

Failing to plan is planning to fail. The problem is I don’t even know what I want in life… how to plan?

Sometimes I feel that my split personality is getting worst.. at work, to prevent people from saying I’m chidish, I have to act like I’m really mature…have to think twice when I speak..

When I got acustomed to this kind of habit, my own age group friends would say that I’ve become retarded… answer one simple question also must think so long.

Teach me and I’ll forget.

Show me and I’ll rem.

Involve me and I’ll learn.

What a good phrase given by Alvin.